I had a party at my house and invited these guys I wasn’t too close with and they brought their friend. I was 16 and he was 17 and I ended up black out drunk. Like full black out, I can only remember half second patches of the night. I know that I initiated it but later on I had sex with these guys’ friend but I left the bedroom crying as soon as it was over and apparently spent the rest of the night crying and every time I’ve seen him in public since then a wave comes over my body and I instantly feel anxious and depressed. I haven’t been sexually attracted to anyone since then and thinking about what happened also makes me anxious and depressed. Was it rape?